Halloween will be here before you know it. The kiddies are itching to put on their costumes and collect enough candy to turn their blood into caramel. I do have to ask one question, though: who exactly came up with the term “fun size” when referring to tiny versions of candy bars? What in the hell is FUN about a piece of candy the size of a normal-sized candy bar’s turd?

My parents live in a large neighborhood in Saratoga. With growing concerns of child safety over the years, the crowds of little people dressed as Lady Gaga and Spiderman have decreased greatly. The trend extends further than Saratoga. A lot of families elect, instead, to bring their children to “safe” Halloween events indoors or during the daytime.

With that being said, if you’re heading to WalMart to pick up a bag of candy, don’t be “that guy” who gives out these so-called “fun size” candy bars. It’s the basic law of supply and demand. The demand isn’t as great as it once was, so stop being a boob and shell out the extra coin for a NORMAL sized hunk of chocolate love.

On that note, trust your fellow parents. If you think you’re being noble and responsible by giving out fruit, toothpaste, loose change or pencils, think again! All you’re doing is putting your home on the radar of kids looking to egg and TP a local target. Most parents will sift through their child’s goody bag with a fine-toothed comb to eliminate anything they don’t want to put in their little bodies.

Ok, that’s my rant for the day. Everyone, PLEASE, have a safe, enjoyable, sugar-coma on the 31… and if you’re not a fan of Reese's, don’t throw em’ out – send them addressed to Tanch at Townsquare Media in Schenectady. Thanks in advance!