Another Hot Topic comes from a listener her boyfriend is struggling financially and she wants to know whether she should make leave him or not.


Here is what she wrote in (unedited)

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Here is what I have going on I need some help with this one because I have no idea what to do.  I met my now male friend through a mutual friend who has got all of his stuff together. I told him I was interested in a man like him only to find out this guy is the complete opposite.

Right now he has no job and cannot drive because his driver’s license is revoked. He has been looking for work, and I have helped him with applications rewrote his resume and all but it appears he has never been able to hold down a job. He had a seasonal job when I met him but he has not had anything consistent since.

His roommate put him out after we started talking because he stopped contributing to that household and said he was spending all his time and I guess his money in my house (I don’t know where). So here he is now staying in my basement because he has nowhere else to go. I will admit, I do like him but he is not responsible.

He has a great personality and is absolutely charming as a person. He is applying for jobs, I know it’s a pandemic but he doesn't seem as urgent to him as it would if I was going to potentially be homeless. He is going through a hard time at the moment and has told me that he doesn't want to burden me with his issues when I currently have my own.

My issue is that I am paying for absolutely everything - meals, cell phones, his cigarettes, general spending money, etc. The other day when I told him I had no money to buy us any food, he started going through my freezer and helping himself to food.

I have already spoken to him about how I am not able to afford to keep both of us and that this cannot go on, but he still doesn't seem to have much urgency about finding work. I have had this conversation with him multiple time and he keeps assuring me as soon as he gets on his feet he would make up for this time.

In the two week I have cut off all sex, all affection, we talk in a short sentence because I just can’t with him right now. I guess my question is, how long should I give him to get it together before I put him out?


DJ Supreme's Response

I think it is terrible how men are solely judged on what we can provide in a relationship.  If the shoe was on the other foot do you think this man would help you out?  If you really loved him would you really make the man homeless.

I'm not sure how long you two have been dating but if you want him gone just put him out.  It seems like he isn't the one for you so why waste time? I'm not sure what legal terms you can evict him on but you should do the research because people don't treat the "one" like this.

Maybe you should have gotten to know him a little better before you let him move into your home?

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