A 23 year old man from Arbor Hill was busted for yanking his crank in public. Police charged Jayshawn Owens with public lewdness for masturbating in two city alleys this past June. Have you seen the alleyways this time of year? Very romantic.

The first incident happened at 12:30pm on June 29th on Ryckman Ave. Sounds like someone was desperate for a nooner… Oh wait, there’s more! On the next day, June 30th, Owens was caught pulling his thing again on Bradford Street at 10:30pm.

Who are we to judge? Jayshawn has been in love with his hand for 23 years. “Rosie Palm” has been with him through thick and thin (pause). However, all good things must come to an end. I think it’s time you go your separate ways, Jayshawn.

Owens was arrested Friday and charged with misdemeanor public lewdness, endangering the welfare of a child and trespass.