Man Assaults Friend After Making Fun Of His Thong Mask

The coronavirus is making people lose their damn minds.  The latest victim of COVID-19 madness is a man in Michigan who was wearing THONG underwear as a face mask on Monday.   I’m not sure if this was a used thong or new thong, but I’m pretty sure thongs aren’t valid protection from any disease let alone the coronavirus.

According to the Battle Creek Enquirer, he was out in public minding his own thong masked business, when a friend of his saw him wearing a thong mask and proceeded to laugh and make fun of him.    Being the macho man with a thong mask, he proceeded to assault his 57-year-old friend.

Why are these people out of the house anyway?  This doesn’t sound like an essential run for either one of them.  The "friend" is actually pressing charges now there is a warrant out for the thong masked assailant. Friends don't fight friends for making fun of them in a mask made of women's underwear.

If this was any other time this story would just be plain old weird but in this case, its understandable. Welcome the thong masked bandit in the Big Dummy Files, that is no way to treat a friend who laughed at your stupidity.  Really? A thong underwear mask, what are you doing?

Unfortunately, there aren't any pictures of anyone involved.  I would love to see the assaulter, the victim, and the thong mask.  There is still hope to see all three because there's a warrant out for him now on assault charges.