Your boom box could save your life. That’s the message “Security Officer Jay” is trying to spread. Jay really wants you to feel safe at home. That’s why he’s encouraging you to buy his “CD Deterrent.”

The “CD Deterrent” is simply a compact disc with sounds that “are recorded so real that it might even take YOU by surprise.”

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For a small fee of $9.95 (plus tax, CD player not included), you can protect yourself against burglars and rapists. Everyone in my family is getting one of these bad boys for Christmas this year.

Get yours now at!!