When I heard the sad news about Robin Thicke and Paula Patton separating after 10 years of marriage, my heart sunk to my chest.

Not that I go crazy over celebrity relationships, because I don’t, but because I actually thought of all the “Hollywood” couples, they would last.  Of course, there are people who disagree with that assessment, only because they don’t think anyone in entertainment can make their marriage work.

Many people have speculated why the separation. Some say it had to do with all the incriminating photos Thicke had been caught with. Some say it was the VMA performance with Miley Cyrus. Others just think he’s not sincere.

But I actually think it could have been for another reason – perhaps Paula, as the mother of 3-year old Julian – was growing ever closer to her child, and ever further away from Robin.

So what can we as guys do to help keep wives and significant others to realize that we’re needed and that we love them? There may not be much we can do on the surface, because our wives are not our property. We can’t “control” anyone, but what we can do is remember three things about love:

  1. Love is patient. Let’s say Robin and Paula were going through tough, stressful times, with the increase in demands as Robin’s career took off and he had one of the most popular singles of 2013, while Paula’s profile took off as well. I believe Robin needed to demonstrate love by being patient through the new added stresses and changes in their lives.
  2. Love is kind. Was Robin being as kind as he could have been? He seems like a charming enough fellow in his interviews, but when it comes down to it, what’s he like at home? What kind of husband is he, what kind of father is he? I’m not suggesting that he isn’t a nice guy, but sometimes with the added stress and fame, one can forget to be kind to their wife, and that could have taken its toll.
  3. Love honors. When Robin was caught with the ladies in the club grabbing and kissing on them, was that honoring to his wife? I know, some say that Paula knew what was going on and would publicly defend Robin, basically saying “that’s just Robin being Robin”, but deep inside it could have been tearing her up inside to the point that she really had to process what we going on. Had Robin realized that despite all his love songs, if he’s not placing his wife in a position of honor, he’s running a great risk of feeling extremely dishonored.

Again, these are just speculations and we wish Robin all the best in trying to win back Paula. If anything, you hope they can reconcile for little Julian’s sake. We’ll keep you posted.

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