meddygarnet, flickr

It’s the question that catches most people off guard every year… what do you want for Christmas? If you’re like me, the answer is predicated by several “umm’s” and “uhh’s” before the inevitable, “I can’t think of anything that I need.” Need?? What is this word, NEED, that came out of my mouth? Am I officially a grown-up? When we were kids, we didn’t ask for things that we needed, we asked for things that we wanted. And we made sure we were on our best behavior to get those things.

So what do you get for the person who has everything? A gag gift, of course! These items are sure to bring a smile to the difficult-to-shop-for person on your holiday list.

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Sanata’s Traveling Butt Pillow – As if a plush, ultra soft ass wasn’t cool enough… it farts too! Leave it on display at your annual holiday bash! Take it on business trips! Don’t you want to be the only one riding in first class with a butt cheek pillow? Exactly.

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Dashboard Pole Dancer – Perfect for the lonely bachelor who needs a constant reminder why he’s single. Watch this little boo boo slide and glide with every turn and pothole.

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Toilet Mug – Everyone in your office will either be jealous, or grossed out to the point where they completely ignore you. Win-win!

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WTF Button – Perfect for when life throws you a curve ball, when your boss gives you extra work on a Friday, or when your significant other “likes” one of their ex’s revealing photos on facebook.

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Grow Snow – A great educational item for kids. Also a great gift to buy for friends who live in a tropical, beautiful, snow-less location like Miami or Hawaii… on second thought, screw them.